You are responsible for your vote - October 2nd, referendum in Hungary

My dear family members, friends, acquaintances nearby and far away,

I put a lot of thinking as to whether write to you about the referendum in October in Hungary. Finally, since it is there in our conversations, and in my virtual and offline manifestations anyway, I decided to do it. I don't want to sweep anything under the rug.

In my opinion, since this referendum is to take place, exercising your rights as a citizen is of the utmost importance, therefore I can only encourage you to go and vote. If you are not going, don't do it for reasons of comfort, but out of personal conviction (see: civic awareness). You certainly know the question that you need to reply to.

Do you want the European Union to be able to mandate the obligatory resettlement of non-Hungarian citizens into Hungary even without the approval of the National Assembly?

I could write about how manipulative this question is, or that the EU membership means not only EU funding, but also obligations. I could quote from the book of Stephen I of Hungary, Admonitions. I could remind you of Jesus (since Hungary is supposed to be Regnum Marianum). I could go on explaining that ‘Brussels’ is a city, or that the EU is a club of which the citizens of Hungary want to remain members of, and the situation is not as simple as ‘Brussels’ makes up something and then forces it on everybody. I could tell stories about how the EU is not even close to being perfect, but this is as much the responsibility of the representatives as of those who elect them. I could bring articles about the Hungarian Investment Immigration Programme, and how if someone has 300k euros is considered a 'good' immigrant, may they be Russian, Chinese, or Arab. I could bring self-contradictory citations from Viktor Orbán's speeches.

Furthermore, I could write about how disgusting it is that the Hungarian government campaigns against refugees by accusing them of raping women, while the Hungarian government hasn’t even ratified the Istanbul Convention, when at the same time at least one woman in Hungary dies every week as a victim of violence against women; or that how appalling it is that it is widely tolerated that a (many) university professor(s) make(s) woman-bashing statements. I won't do any of these. This is the task of journalists, and I am sure that you carefully looked at all the pros and cons before voting.

I would rather talk about the fact that voting (and not only on October 2^nd) is a responsibility. The responsibility of each voter. Yours.

I never kept it as a secret that since December I live in Germany and my partner is a Syrian refugee. I never kept it as a secret either when I went to volunteer, neither did I do with my opinion. Maybe some of you think that because of being in love I am biased. I would like to calm down everyone: I am in love, but I am a rational person. You (should) know me.

I know the arguments and the problems regarding the challenges of integration, national security, and cultural differences. I have never swept them under the rug, but this post is wittingly not about these issues.

I have a personal request.

I would like to ask you that (if you decide to go and vote) when you enter the voting booth, think of me for a second. Do you want me to go to a country with my love, A. for a visit where he is despised and denigrated? And with him, me, since I am considered a traitor of my country and of my nation. Do you want people to call me a ‘migrant-caressing whore’ (true story)? What would you do if in a gathering someone would start attacking refugees as a whole? Do you really think that all Muslim asylum-seekers are potential terrorists? Or there are ‘exceptions’ like A., who is a ‘good migrant’, but the rest is really dangerous? Would you make a stand (even in my absence), or would you be silent and thus, complicit?

Do you want to live in a country where a friend/family member could be treated with contempt by the public because of a personal choice? Or where an ethnic or religious group can be stigmatized? How do you know that you are not the ones to be on next?

There was another referendum in 2004, and I, lucky bastard, was affected by that as well. It didn't end well. Those who knew me back then, know that I never asked anyone to tell me how and why they voted as they did (or if they went to vote). It is none of my business. I will do the same now again. It is not my concern how XY voted.

I will never ask anyone about their vote. It is none of my business. I would like to make this crystal clear before anyone accuses me of grouping people according to yes, no and invalid ballots.

But do not delude yourselves into thinking that you can vote no, but you bear no responsibility (and you can shift it on to the government, Brussels, the migrants, the Democratic Alliance of Hungarians in Romania, the churches – I could go on). Those who vote no, should know that every single atrocity, every single manifestation of hatred after October 2nd will be done based on their authorisation and with their consent. I am not holding it against you. But my and A.’s physical safety and our peace of mind is more important. The stakes of this referendum are a lot higher than of the previous one. This is about my family, our life, our human dignity, and in this case I will put us first.

I am at a breaking point (and so are we all, as a nation). I accept the responsibility for it. All I am asking you is to accept responsibility for your own decisions, your actions and their consequences.